The holiday season is upon us! It is a time for sharing in fun, festivities, family and friends. Ironically, it also can be a time of high demands and high stress; when we can bump into difficult or awkward situations we would rather avoid.

Our formula for Love, Courage and Confidence is a way to make the best of these times and gather powerful tools that can be used at other times in your life, too.

Our view is that living with confident, unique, creative Self-expression takes Courage and Self-Love. Whether you are with family and friends over the holidays or engaging in your business every day of the year, you can do it with these three, powerful qualities foreground in your experience.

First, let’s talk about what Love, Courage and Confidence is not. It isn’t:

• complaining or blaming,
• self-denigration,
• giving power away to others and then resenting it.

The formula, Love + Courage = Confidence, simply states that Confidence is the product of Love plus Courage.

Let’s start with some quick definitions and then we’ll give you some tips to get you started using the formula.

The outcome is Confidence. Confidence is the capacity to TRUST who you are, what you do and the choices you make. It is the self-given appreciation that your unique viewpoint has value and a right to be expressed.

Courage is an expression of action. From the French word “cour”, it means “of the Heart”. Courageous action is a result of Heartfelt listening and closely linked to Self-Love and Self-Care.

Our focus this newsletter, Love, starts with Self-Love. Self-Love starts with the activity of Self-Care.

Self-Care means having a capacity to nurture and be gentle with your Self. It is a common misconception that we must sacrifice our self-care for the sake of others, and that to do otherwise is somehow obnoxious, rude or even arrogant!

Our formula implies that acting from fear, rather than courage, nullifies confidence. Check it out in your own life. When you display a lack of self-care there is very often an element of fear in the equation (fear of rejection, fear of loss, fear of conflict, etc). This can never build your sense of self-esteem and confidence.

When you recognize, define and ask for what you need and want — in any situation –you nurture your capacity to Love, care for, and respect yourself. It is the first step in the Love + Courage = Confidence formula and you must practice it if you want true courage to show up. We’ll get to more on that in next month’s newsletter…

We challenge you to practice Self-Care during this busy holiday season. Choose one or more of these ideas (or create your own) to nurture yourself:

Create a budget for your holiday shopping and stick to it

• Buy yourself something that YOU really want
• Say “YES” to offers of help
• Schedule an hour just for yourself (get a massage, read a book, take a bubble bath)
• Say “NO” to an invitation
• Take a drive and look at the holiday light displays
• Take a walk and appreciate nature in winter
• Write a letter to Santa and enclose your own wish list
• Buy a gift card for that hard to shop for person

Remember: It is your birthright to Love and to be Loved!

Post the Love + Courage = Confidence formula in key places and use it as a reminder of what is truly important to you during this busy and precious time.