When someone close to us dies, becomes ill, or simply goes away and out of our life, there is a lot of energy spent over what coulda, shoulda, or oughta been said or done.
The events around a departure get perceived as if in a movie that shifts point of view to show how characters live through the same experience seeing different things. Films like Vantage Point, Babel, Courage Under Fire and Citizen Kane all come to mind, just to name a few.
This theme in literature and film reworks the human conundrum that we are wont to reduce the judgment of our experience to good or bad; right or wrong; something to include or something to exclude.
Unfortunately, this tendency to finalize things in an “either/or” context also tends to prevent our ability to reach a feeling state of completion.
Completion is vital to our well-being.
Without completion, freedom, fulfillment and creativity is lost.
The greatest challenge when someone dies, becomes ill or goes away is to find a way for the event to have a positive effect in the present.
This can take time and work but it is essential to the process of completion. With Penny May we know it means growing a mindset in which she lives through us in a positive way.
It means we have to hold at the same time that we miss her, that we are sometimes angry at her, and that we very much Love her.
Just as we had to do on our trip to Italy when we learned of her death, we have to expand and contract, expand and contract…
like breath….
without judgment that an inhalation is any better than an exhalation.
And the way that we are able to do that is with the words, “I Respect Your Fate” whenever we catch ourselves trapped in the dualistic thinking of good/bad or right/wrong.
We encourage you to take on the task of working through the Six Steps to Completion.
You can adjust the process to work with a specific event such as the ones we have been discussing here.
Before going to that worksheet, however, we want to play more with the powerful statement, “I Respect Your Fate”.
There are Four simple steps to locking this in:
1. Pick a relationship going on for you that is difficult in some way.
Perhaps a loved one has passed away or someone you care about is suffering with a severe illness. It could be lots of things; just pick someone that you are in a struggle with and it doesn’t feel good.
2. Bring the person to mind and notice what is hard for you to be with about the relationship and the situation.
3. When you feel clear focus on the person and the circumstances of the situation, say — either to yourself or out loud — “I Respect Your Fate.”
Repeat “I Respect Your Fate” more times and allow the words to
loosen any grip on needing to change the other person in any way.
4. Breathe and allow the flow of energy to expand into the space that was contracting between you.
Doing so allows individual fate to be as it is without you needing to fix it or change it.
Remember: Love and Life is an ever-flowing breath of birth and death; expansion and contraction.