Rules are important to the function of organizations, families and cultures, but not all rules are created equal. Some support growth and the development of human potential and some are a terrible hindrance.Supportive Rules
One way to view a supportive rule is as a guide for how to conduct a particular activity. A simple example is the rulebook used to govern a board game like Monopoly, where the rules exist to help players enjoy the game while engaging in a consistent set of parameters. The emphasis is on enjoyment and supporting an opportunity for fulfillment and sharing. In a larger context, there are the “rules of the road” where players supports a system that has safety and efficiency at its highest purpose.
Rules, Risks and Reasons
Controlling Rules
Then there are rules that are used as a way to control and exercise ultimate power or authority over others. An example of this would be a nation that denies free speech or the right to vote as a means to control the populace. Controlling rules can also exist within organizations as well. For example, bosses who don’t like their decisions questioned by their subordinates are creating an atmosphere where the unspoken rule is “don’t disagree with the boss.”Controlling rules that form “Forbidden and Taboo” elements of oppression are the roots of fear, intimidation, and low self esteem among group members, suppressed spouses and businesses that are doomed to fail. When individuals are no longer capable of fully expressing their vibrant creative life, the whole system loses each individual’s unique contribution.
Then there are rules that are used as a way to control and exercise ultimate power or authority over others. An example of this would be a nation that denies free speech or the right to vote as a means to control the populace. Controlling rules can also exist within organizations as well. For example, bosses who don’t like their decisions questioned by their subordinates are creating an atmosphere where the unspoken rule is “don’t disagree with the boss.”Controlling rules that form “Forbidden and Taboo” elements of oppression are the roots of fear, intimidation, and low self esteem among group members, suppressed spouses and businesses that are doomed to fail. When individuals are no longer capable of fully expressing their vibrant creative life, the whole system loses each individual’s unique contribution.
How often in your life are you experiencing these life-numbing rules? What do you see is the cost to you and your well-being?
And here is the rub: to do this means you will have to Risk. You will have to step onto the edge of Danger and risk, because that is where Life and opportunity lives.
Webster’s dictionary defines Risk as, to be exposed to danger, harm or loss. In Danger, Sex and Magic, however, when you do nothing or enable controlling rules to restrain your self-expression, you are equally exposing yourself to danger, harm or loss.
The bottom line is that it is dangerous to risk and it is dangerous not to risk!
In DSM we take a strong stand that says: “in order to live on your own terms as an empowered individual, it is important to embrace risk.”
Living on your terms brings a profound and unique sense of Self and creatorship. Risk becomes the game. New supportive rules are brought into play and new possibilities are the result of that. You learn how to love more deeply, grow more fully and change your reality.
Champions are made this way.
Consider this: Everything you have done and now treasure in your life was at one time a risk. Going on your first date, learning to drive, leaving home to go to college, getting married, having a baby, learning any new skill, getting a new job — were all actions that broke the status quo.
Embrace Risk! If you aren’t stepping on the edge of Danger and risking to learn, love, grow and change, then what are you doing?
Take stock now and give yourself permission to question the rules that are guiding the game of your life. Ask yourself what is your “yes” a “no” to? What is your “no” saying “yes” to? Question the rules of your reality and consider the opportunity of what lies beyond.
Build your dreams, focus on your plans, step into the unknown, and make risk and danger your friend.