The expansive topic of Love has been a source of creative inspiration for poets, musicians, writers, lovers, artists and – quite literally – everyone who slows down enough to feel its presence.
Love has been studied, written about, honored in every way possible, and still….still!…. it holds many mysteries yet to be revealed!
When it comes to Love—and with all the choices you make along the road to re-claiming your personal power–the one skill you will need is to know the difference between “small-l love” and the “Big-L Love” that sages write about.
Distinctions like this, which empower awareness and bring clarity and meaning to life, are not about judgment of right and wrong or good or bad. They are about knowing where you stand and what you are choosing.
* * * *
Small-l love is provisional love. It is conditional.
For example, you can “love” chocolate for the satisfaction it gives you and for the craving it fulfills. Or, you can “love” the restaurant nearby for the way they care for the food and for the service they deliver.
In the realm of human relationships, small-l love is the kind of love that is given in exchange for someone behaving in a particular way.
Psychologists may call this kind of love “co-dependency”, and it is a way of being in relationship that many mistakenly think of as a deeper, more real, Love. Someone might say these words or something like them: “I always do what he wants me to do because if I don’t, I’m afraid he won’t love me and stay with me”.
That’s small-l love…
Small-l love is the kind of love that
wants a return on its investment!
* * * *
In contrast, Big-L Love opens us up to new insights and awareness.
… It is a Majestic kind of Love
…Something universal
…. Something beyond….
When it comes to understanding Big-L Love, poets have been speaking and writing about it for centuries….
A billion stars go spinning through the night,
Blazing high above your head.
But in you is the presence that
Will be, when all the stars are dead.
–Ranier Maria Rilke
Big-L Love the kind of Love that cannot be analyzed;
it can only be realized!
Great teachers and poets do their best to describe Big-L Love with words and themes like these:
- Allowing
- Accepting and Receiving
- Flowing
- A Heart At Peace
- Many metaphors drawn from the greater Source at play in our lives
Rumi wrote:
Love said to me,
There is nothing that is not me.
Big-L Love is unconditional Love.
It is inclusive.
* * * *
The opportunity to experience Big-L LOVE requires an image in your mind from which you can approach any situation in your life.
You can step out of your current mindset and explore–with fresh eyes–new insights that were hidden while you were in your old mode of thinking.
The exercise below highlights how this works.
Begin with this first important step:
Slow Yourself Down
We like to say, “Pull yourself over!”
Pull over to the curb of the burgeoning demands of everyday life and take a few calm, easy, “puffy belly breaths”
Bring your attention to yourself.
You’ll be able to feel the processes that are going on inside of you.
By Slowing Yourself Down you will give yourself a chance to feel and reflect upon the new information that flows to you when you do the 4-step exercise below.
* * * *
How to Access the Power of Big-L Love
- Slow down
- Think of any current situation or circumstance that is going on in your life.
- Hold your attention on it with the intent to understand it more fully…
- Ask these questions:
A. “Am I Loving?”
This question will help you access the Big-L Love frame of reference. Let it gently work on you and guide you into the field of Big-L Love.
This next question will help you to look deeply into the situation in a new way.
B. “In this moment, in this situation, what does Love look like?”
These simple questions–when seriously applied with presence, attention, patience and a sense of purpose–will show you the powerful impact that a Big-L LOVE point of view can offer.
It is empowering when you have good tools to work with.
This is one you can use with ease in any situation or circumstance, and we encourage you to practice using it often.
If you feel ready to accelerate your progress and are looking for support in gaining more tools and strategies for finding Love in all the right places, then join us and begin your journey here.