How To Turn Off Fear and Hate

I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

 ~Michael Jackson, Man In The Mirror

In other words, possibility begins when a person – or a country for that matter – has the fortitude to look into a mirror and see clearly who they have become.

In coaching we call it “Acknowledging what is”, and sometimes it takes awhile because people put all sorts of shades and interpretations on why things are the way they are and how they got that way.

In America these days it is a wild ride every day. As the values and fears of people and groups clash, emotions run high and reactions are uncertain.

Hate becomes a default and a habit. We all have to navigate that swamp whether we are at the receiving end of it or even if we are the ones doing the hating.

First and foremost to recognize, Hate will stay stuck until we look into the proverbial mirror and check ourselves out.

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When we wrote, “What Are You Going To Do With All That?” a few months ago, we were inspired to go on a “news fast” and get away from the media circus for 28 days.

It was a way to stop looking “out there” for a story to explain things, and make time to pick up the mirror of personal responsibility and get close to it again.

Even if self-examination is not a reason for a news fast, we still think it’s a good idea for those times when stuff in the world is making you feel small and overwhelmed.

Overwhelm is a protective reaction and psychologically a childlike position in which the World is big and the individual feels small and is looking to stay safe (Jung, The Psychology of the Child Archetype, 1941).

Fear and Hate is probably the fastest way to get to overwhelm.

When you recognize Fear and Hate are messing with your bliss, use the following strategies to navigate around and through it like the Changemaker you are!

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  1. Agree to be intolerant of intolerance
    • Perk up your eyes and ears!
    • Don’t let the voice of hate or intolerance take over a conversation!
    • When you see intolerance or hear it, speak up!
    • Let the person know you are willing to hear their perspective but you won’t tolerate hateful language. If you can’t get that consideration, it’s a good indication to walk away.
    • Hold true to this even if it’s a family member. There’s no way to compromise this one.

 2.  Agree to not let the truth be twisted

  • This will contain and protect your power for when you need it.
  • Pay attention to where and from whom your information is coming.
  • Talking heads on TV or radio know how to influence you more than you realize, so do your due diligence, be honest with yourself and make sure your beliefs and values belong to you, not someone else.
  1. Say No to Fear
  • Fear undermines the fabric of a caring society and causes separation and isolation.
  • Fear thrives on loss, threat and the unknown.
  • All spiritual teachings have Love at the heart of their doctrine. When there is Love, Fear cannot exist!
  • When Fear seems overwhelming or you’re afraid of the unknown it’s really a temporary disturbance in your Self-Love. Do the SLIP process that we shared with you recently.
  1. “This is What Love Looks Like in this Moment.”
  • These words take you to a place that Jung and others classified as “spiritually mature”. In this perspective there is no denial of a thing that is difficult, but there is room in one’s Heart for Love to show up.
  • This perspective goes beyond the judgment of what is good and what is bad. It creates the potential for a bigger picture to emerge.
  • What if a tragic event becomes the catalyst for greater love and respect in our lives and society? What if it is calling you to open your Heart? What if you change your mindset from fear and hate to Love and Inclusion? What then would be possible?
  • It is only through reflection that we can begin to see the underlying movement of Love taking place because nothing is ever what it seems.

These four strategies are a Way of Being as much as they are things to do.

Of the four, the last is the most important.

It soothes your heart, transforms your worldview in a profound way, and gives you confidence to courageously practice the other three.

Remember; when you look for Love you will always find it!


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