“We don’t see things as they are…. We only see things as we are.”
“Thoughts are things”…
“You create your own reality”…
“There are no accidents”…
Clichés exist because an element of truth gave them life and these, in particular, are worth a closer look.
They have a kinship with DSM Insight #2, “There is no out there out there” and last month we posted a TED video, “Why Aren’t We Awesomer”, by Michael Neil, that highlights this Insight in a very compelling way.
This Insight also seems to be the most elusive of the seven. We’ve noticed it can be grasped by an open mind but to make it operational in day-to-day to experience it is, well….slippery!
Yet it is so foundational to DSM Transformational Coaching that we can’t resist using the video to “deconstruct” it for you some more.
When you take this Insight to Heart – get it active in your body – it will change your life.
Guaranteed and cliché free!
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The great 18th Century writer and philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe wrote:
It is my daily mood that makes the weather.
I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous.
I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration.
I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.
In all situations it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated,
and a person is humanized or dehumanized…
Although we say it much differently 250 years later the sentiment is the same….
Our Freedom of Mind empowers us to make of our world what we will. Each and every one of us has the ability to determine how we feel and …
(here’s the tricky part)…
…how we feel determines what we think and what we think determines what we create.
And so it is that in the 20th Century the personal growth and development industry is born!
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The Logical-Thinking-Western-Brain goes tilt when it stretches to absorb the idea that circumstances are 100% a result of our own emotions and thoughts.
There really is no out there out there.
We say it in the words of Insight #2 because we find it tends to encourage the tilting!
The substantially widespread belief that circumstance shapes the person is standard operating procedure for most of humanity. And it is the source of a lot the suffering, pain and cruelty that is rampant in our world.
You have to go through a tilt-stage to be OK with the notion that there is nothing out there that can’t be changed.
Mike Neil uses the analogy that we think of the brain as a camera that snaps an image of what’s “out there”, and our mind connects the dots and creates an illusion that seems to make sense of things.
He continues with current findings in neuroscience that tell us the brain is more like a projector, and sends outward the emotional state we are carrying inside of us; and that which we receive back matches that projection.
In other words, our experience of the world is a reflection of our inner state of mind.
We humans have lot more control over things than we think we do!
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In DSM Coaching work, we refer to an inner state of mind as a Point of View.
A Point of View is made up of emotions and the thoughts generated from those emotions. These, in turn, generate more of those emotions and thoughts in a repeating, iterative process. It’s like a freight train with no brakes, only the consequence is limiting beliefs and rigid thoughts that bring recurring patterns, results and life experience.
Points of View can lead to extraordinary success or unfathomable pain and suffering.
Change your Point Of View and you change everything. This is how DSM and other body-centered, empowerment models are able to achieve deep core transformation.
It’s not just positive thinking, either. We use universal laws and principles– like “There is no out there out there” – to shift Point of View and use the Mind-as–Projector concept in our Creatorship processes.
Changing what you project – your Point of View – takes practice, diligence and support. The coaching model is the most powerful, direct and honest way we have seen to implement these processes.
Here are some basic steps to get started:
STEP 1: Recognize and acknowledge what is going on inside you by paying attention to your emotions and the thoughts that come with them. Write them down without judgment.(Example: I feel sad that people don’t like me)
STEP 2. Difficult emotions are often cries for loving attention. What is the loving attention that would feel better? Write it down. (Example: I feel sad and want a hug; I feel hurt, I want tenderness)
STEP 3: Look for an inspiring point of view. For example, a person you admire or imagine your pet’s point of view. What is “the warm blanket point” of view? The important thing is to look at what the world looks like from these alternate positions?
What would be the emotions, the thoughts, the beliefs? Write them down.
STEP 4: The fun part. Pick one and play with it for a day, a week, or even a month and notice that when you change the world changes too.
Even though it may seem impossible to fathom, there is always another reality available for you. It takes practice, patience and above all a commitment.
Reality, after all is said and done, is an inside job. By cultivating this practice you will think your way into a new world.
“Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.”